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Privy Papers: The Story of Chooky Rooch, Britain's Oldest Film Star

Posted on Friday, September 18, 2020 | No Comments

Bolton. 1901. Charlotte Roach is born. Destined for a life being deafened by the looms at the Mill and dying of consumption (often cheaper than buying a job lot of Cholera), she wants none of it. Trouble is, she’s a bit potato faced, and no-one thinks she’ll amount to anything.

Determined to have a better life for herself, she sets out on a singular path to achieving Hollywood stardom…via the outdoor lav. It's a long slog and along the way she discovers that if you're from Lancashire, you can never quite remove all traces of chip fat and clogs, no matter how many times you have Judy Garland round your upright, singing a torch song about ferrets. Fortunately, she never did. Her life may have turned out very differently, otherwise...

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